Silent Night

Hi, it’s me blogging again in the middle of the night with all lights on. Christmas songs playing at the background just made me having the mood to blog now. Am I sounded emo? I do feel a little cause everyone seems celebrating Christmas out there and I'm AGAIN..'home alone'. A friend of mine asked me why I am not going out and I replied 'No one ask me out.' Then he asked back, 'Why don't you ask someone out?' I was like..huh..who shall I ask? At that moment I was thinking maybe I don't have as many friends as I thought. That's mainly my problem. I don't know how to maintain friendship that's why friends around me 'disappeared'. Counting the number of close friends I am having...Surprisingly, the number does not exceed the number of my fingers. Maybe I should learn from those with bunch of buddies. Learn how they actually can keep so many close friends. Ohya..most of them uses MSN and on FB all the time. Maybe this is how they keep in touch with most of their buddies. It's been quite a long time since the last time I chat on MSN. I bet if I sign in now, no one on my list will send me a message. I guess it’s time for me to make a move. I shall participate more in social-ing and I'll get back most of my friends. Maybe it’s just a matter of time.

Anyway, I wish everyone MERRY CHRISTMAS ^^

Tonight

It has been almost 2 months since my study break started..

We haven't really talk like usual.

Sometimes I am wondering what's going on...

What makes us talk less?

I never thought that distance is a problem,

and I absolutely trusted you.

But why is this happening?

I really don't know...

The way I feel is as if I am losing something.

I do admit that sometimes not talking is better

Cause sometimes talking can end up with tears.

I tried hard to mend the problem.

But it doesn't seems to work..

I hope you've tried too..

And I hope you can do it better than me.

I am thinking...

Thinking for millions of reasons for the problem.

But I couldn't find one.

Or maybe...

I wish I never find one.

Maybe...

I am thinking and wondering too much at this late night.

I hope a little bit more communication will make everything better.

Good night.

Hi

Dunno what to blog.. Just wanna say hi to everybody!

Finally home

My head was spinning since my end of semester exam started. Until today I am still experiencing some confusion. I think I need to sleep for more than 8 hours per day for at least one week to gain back my full energy! Which means that tomorrow I am not going to wake up before 9am. After wake up I'll eat, sleep, watch tv, and eat again. This is the only way to gain back my strength..LOL..You can call me a pig just like what my mom always call me, but who cares, this is how it should be when I am home. This is what makes home so great. And also makes my weight to gain I guess.haha But I think it's worth as long as I can stay at home. Oh..no..I gotta stop typing..I'll update u guys soon if im not lazy..good night^^

Updates

What a busy semester..BUSY GOING HOME!! LOL

Actually I don't really know what am I doing in this sem.

I am so blur throughout this sem.

Didn't really pay attention to most lectures and workshops.

Now, I am looking forward for the coming attachment cause after two days attachment, I'll be at home for 13days!!!!

Home sweet home I am coming!!!!!!!

Sometimes

Sometimes..

when you think you're the best

in fact

you're just a lil' better than the worst.

Sometimes..

when you think you're concerning

in fact

you're very irritating.

Sometimes..

when you pretend nothing happened

in fact

you're just making the condition worst.

Sometimes..

when you try to explain

in fact

you're just creating more misunderstand.

Sometimes..

when you do nothing

in fact

you're doing something stupid.

Huh..Nothing much u can do then. Let the time do everything for you. When it is the right time, no matter what you do, it still can be the solution. So just WAIT.

Guilty

I know I was wrong..

I was so so wrong!!

But I cant stop myself from thinking about that..

The feelings of being like or admire is so great~

that I can't deny that at certain moment my heart had betrayed you.

I'm Sorry!

I dare not tell you about this until now..

because I know myself does not deserve to be forgiven.

But I know you will hate me more if I deny it!

I am trying hard..

Fighting with myself..

Struggling..

But the more I struggle, the deeper I fall into this mistake..

That's I always wanted more and more from you..

cause the more you gave, the better I feel..

Better as in more secure.

Receiving from you is the only way that can bring me out from my mistake.

I am not here to blame you for not giving me more..

But myself of being so dependent on you.

I know I am stubborn..

Stubborn in such a way that

can make you hate me.

I'm sorry!

No matter whose fault..

You will always be the one that make the first move..

to apology.

That's what make you so special to me.

I know being pampered by you makes me worst..

But I love the way you pamper me..

Love the way you pamper me so much.

Letting you know..

how guilty I feel in these years

is the purpose of me writing this.

I never hope that you will forgive me

but I want to let you know that..

No matter how many times my heart had betrayed you..

It came back to you in the end.

I'm sorry for being such a..

Allow me to say BITCH.

I'm sorry!

I know no matter how I say,

it was still my fault..

I'm not trying to twist the fact..

And I know my apologies will not make you feel better cause..

As I always said, apologies will never heals a heart.

But I still have to say

I'm sorry!!

New update

This semester I am free to do anything I want but I am just too lazy to blog. Anyway, today I am going to write something although I have no idea what am I going to write in this post. So just ignore all my craps..LOL..Time just slipped by quickly without me knowing it! It's been six weeks since I came back to IMU. Dreaming during lectures, didn't study for PBL, didn't do any revision are what I did almost every semester . What am I suppose to do? LOL..Anyway, I just hope for pass..so I think I shouldn't make myself so stress. I am still with my principle "Play HARD, Study SMART" (ps: play comes first) LOL..

This weekend in KL was a great one. Spent most of my time with friends for outdoor activities, movies and FOODsss make this weekend tiring but wonderful. It ended just like that, in a blink of eye and tomorrow is Monday again =(

Why I have such a good mood to blog despite I haven't finish my portfolio which I have to submit tomorrow??

Okay la...I think I should stop here...Need to go back to work right now...will update if I have the mood..u all just wait la..haha

-Sign out-

I AM FATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM FAT I AM JUST TOO FAT

ARGHHHHHHHHH

Since when it became so complicated to me!!!!!!!!! I need a medicine/machine that can delete certain bad memories and make things start all over again.

Lesson

This month may seem to be normal for most people but NOT me. I can say that this is the longest and hardest month that I've gone through in my life. Within this month, I've learnt how to ACCEPT facts in my life. The facts that I mean here are all those incidents that can make u extremely upset and feel hopeless. It was very hard for me to accept them but I am lucky enough to have my mom and friends supporting me. When I ever thought or tried to give up, there is an 'energy' within myself pulling me back from doing so. I asked myself: Where is this 'energy' come from? And now I believe that it is due to those cares and loves from my mom and friends. Without them I may still crying in a corner without knowing what to do. From these incidents, I know that I'm not alone. Thank you for make me STRONGER. Thank you for everything! This month will eventually become very meaningful to me.

Quote of the day:

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.” by Willie Nelson

See Wen

There is always something emerge inside my heart but i don't how to express it out..until today i still don't know well about myself..i don't know what myself really want..being so lazy in every semester is not what i want but i keep on repeating it..this semester will be the same as the semesters before...im not daring to expect something, because when i expect something more, i will ended up more sad...i would just let it be...

Something To Share

AN ACCURATE 2010 HOROSCOPE

ARIES - The Aggressive
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny.. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be 'Right'. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world.


TAURUS - The Tramp
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!

GEMINI - The Twin
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very Good at confusing people... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosey. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.



CANCER - The Beauty
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer's Love is one of a kind.. Very romantic.. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative Person, most are artists and insane, respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An Ultimate Freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most Cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a Fighter, But will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to!



LEO - The Lion
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo's problem becomes everyone's problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun.. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.



VIRGO - The One that Waits
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything.. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only.



LIBRA - The Lame One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with...you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic.

SCORPIO - The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want.. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring.



SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found.. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.



CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy. But when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet.
Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs especially Gemini's in sports. Likes to cook but would rather go out to eat at good restaurants.
Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.



AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind, loves being in long-term relationships. Can be clumsy at times but tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they're not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more than their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter but will Knock your lights out.



PISCES - The Partner for Life
Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the center of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes gets the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humor!!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to other but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be.

Medical Museum @ IMU

This is what we called "吃脑" (cantonese)