Guilty

I know I was wrong..

I was so so wrong!!

But I cant stop myself from thinking about that..

The feelings of being like or admire is so great~

that I can't deny that at certain moment my heart had betrayed you.

I'm Sorry!

I dare not tell you about this until now..

because I know myself does not deserve to be forgiven.

But I know you will hate me more if I deny it!

I am trying hard..

Fighting with myself..

Struggling..

But the more I struggle, the deeper I fall into this mistake..

That's I always wanted more and more from you..

cause the more you gave, the better I feel..

Better as in more secure.

Receiving from you is the only way that can bring me out from my mistake.

I am not here to blame you for not giving me more..

But myself of being so dependent on you.

I know I am stubborn..

Stubborn in such a way that

can make you hate me.

I'm sorry!

No matter whose fault..

You will always be the one that make the first move..

to apology.

That's what make you so special to me.

I know being pampered by you makes me worst..

But I love the way you pamper me..

Love the way you pamper me so much.

Letting you know..

how guilty I feel in these years

is the purpose of me writing this.

I never hope that you will forgive me

but I want to let you know that..

No matter how many times my heart had betrayed you..

It came back to you in the end.

I'm sorry for being such a..

Allow me to say BITCH.

I'm sorry!

I know no matter how I say,

it was still my fault..

I'm not trying to twist the fact..

And I know my apologies will not make you feel better cause..

As I always said, apologies will never heals a heart.

But I still have to say

I'm sorry!!